your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
