Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
