Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
