I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
