problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
