Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
