Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
