shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
