So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
