I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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