well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
