why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize