i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
