I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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