we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
