that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
