remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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