Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
