Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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