I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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