so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
50% drunk capacity currently
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
