do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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