they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
