So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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