the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
