Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
