yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
