Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
