If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
