there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
