We won't sleep together?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
