My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
