This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
