Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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