he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
