Plan B is the new Plan A
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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