The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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