if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
