He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm always down for nudity.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
