We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
