You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
