no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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