Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
3pm strippers are depressing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
