I accidentally had phone sex last night
My liver just broke up with me...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
