Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
