it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
