I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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