Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
