Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize