Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
