i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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