I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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