He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
