If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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