you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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