Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
