Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
