THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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