so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
and you fell through a lawn chair
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
